“I was seen - I who had seldom been seen by anyone.” Ocean Vuong

Therapy for Asian Americans

The Burdens

Do you feel disconnected from yourself and your family? Are you feeling exhausted having to constantly present a perfect, polished version of yourself to the world? Do you feel dissatisfied with your life because you’re experiencing pressure to fulfill traditional family expectations? Is it challenging to find a space to share your mental health concerns because discussing your emotions is often stigmatized?

Maybe you’re always subconsciously or acutely aware of your Asian American identity wherever you go, and you’re tired of having to answer “where are you from?” whenever you meet strangers. Or maybe no matter how hard you try, you don’t feel at home in either the culture you come from or the culture you currently live in. And you may find yourself caught between opposing currents, leaving you feeling isolated and misunderstood.

Maybe you feel the weight of the traumas that your parents and ancestors have lived through, and feel unequipped to carry it all. On top of all this, learning how to embody familial collectivist values in a society that prioritizes and values hyperindividualism may seem impossible.

The Impact

Managing identity struggles, intergenerational traumas, microaggressions, familial expectations, and cultural conflicts is so much more than meets the eye. It can lead to anxiety, depression, trauma, low motivation, and a limited sense of self identity. It can also lead to isolation, withdrawal, and difficulty being vulnerable with others, affecting your relationships with others. Confusion about your own sense of self can also make it hard to identify and set healthy boundaries in your relationship, or even to recognize your own preferences and desires in relation to your partner. And if you and your partner were raised in different cultural environments, you may feel disconnected from your partner, because you struggle to find a sense of understanding with each other.

Though all these experiences may seem overwhelmingly burdensome, it is possible to navigate through these experiences with the right guidance. You can connect with who you are, and find the person you want to be.

The Intersection of Asian American identity and Mental Health

The intersection of Asian American identity and mental health is not often talked about in either the Asian American community or the mental health community. While, thankfully, the narrative is shifting, mental health is still very much a taboo topic for many Asian American folks. It is still common to be taught that going to therapy is a sign of weakness, and that any struggles you are having, you just need to “work harder” to deal with them all.

As Asian Americans, we can often feel like we don't have an accessible mental health space - specifically, a space where our mental health challenges can be understood in the context of our Asian identities. It can be difficult to find a safe space for healing that accepts, includes, and embraces our Asian American experience. But as difficult as it may be, those safe mental health spaces for Asian Americans do exist.

The Stigma of Therapy for Asian Americans

In Asian American society, the notion that you are "weak if you can’t figure life out on your own" fosters an environment where seeking help is seen as a sign of inadequacy. Reaching out to a therapist is often stigmatized because it is believed to reflect poorly on the entire family. "Don't air out your dirty laundry," or "there is nothing wrong with you, your mind is just not strong enough" hammers in the idea that discussing your struggles is a personal failure.

But wanting to better your mental health through therapy is never something you should be ashamed of. Therapy isn’t an admission of weakness, or that you’ve failed. Therapy is acknowledging that you aren’t superhuman. Therapy is a way of showing up for yourself, and deciding that you are worth it.

Then Why Should I Go to Therapy?

Therapy provides a safe space where you can feel comfortable unburdening your concerns and experiences without fear of judgment or shame. You’ll work in therapy to learn how to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. The parts of you that feel stuck, hurting, traumatized, and ashamed, can finally all be met with compassion and warmth. Even the parts of you that you hide away and are ashamed of, can experience true acceptance.

In therapy, you’ll be able to work towards a loving relationship with yourself, which inevitably leads to fulfilling relationships with others. And at Full Well Therapy, you’ll be working with a therapist who not only holds space for your Asian American identity, but also understands firsthand the unique experiences of being an Asian American. Your Asian American experiences will be a part of your process and healing, not something that is misunderstood or forgotten.

But What About…?

How do I know therapy will help me? It's a big financial cost, what if it doesn't work?

Therapy is not magic (though that would be great!). Coming to therapy will not change your life overnight. It is, however, an investment in yourself to do the hard work that is necessary to see the changes you want. Every human person has the capacity to live a life of contentment and peace that feels aligned with them. And therapy can help you connect with that healing, loving, kind, compassionate energy to help you live the life that you want.

Does coming to therapy mean I have failed in some way? Is something seriously wrong with me?

Absolutely not! Choosing to come to therapy does not reflect your value as a person or your capabilities in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't mean that you’ve failed. It just means you are choosing to prioritize yourself in a way you haven't before. Coming to therapy means you love and care about yourself enough to do something that may be foreign, different, and scary.

What if others judge me for going to therapy?

There may be people in your life who have negative views about receiving therapy. Fear of that judgment is very common and understandable, especially if that judgment is coming from someone near and dear to us. However, try not to let this deter you— therapy itself is not inherently bad. Wanting to better yourself is not wrong. Therapy is a way of investing in your wellbeing, choosing to prioritize yourself, and deciding that you are worth overcoming the struggles and difficulties you face.

Break the Cycle

No one is immune to universal mental health concerns like trauma, anxiety, and depression, regardless of their cultural, socioeconomic, education, and professional identity. And as Asian Americans, there are specific life experiences that we have that also influence our health and relationships. If you’re ready to break the cycle and want to work towards a life of fulfilling relationship with yourself and others, therapy is a great place to start.

If you’re interested in exploring how your past, your cultural background, your current circumstances, and family history are influencing your mental health and relationships, please contact us for a free consultation.